Grammar police. From what I've read it appears that what you're going for is a very casual tone. Unfortunately, there is a too casual. For example:
these really tall roses
I don't like these kinds of lazy adjectives. There are much more vivid and concise ways to say all of these things (towering, massive, overgrown)
The most interesting thing I saw over there were these little streams all over the place. You couldn't take but a few steps before you had to hop over another one.
I get that this is supposed to be something like a buddy relating a story to his barkeep or something but its very difficult to imagine people talking like that. It's like a report on somebody's summer vacation. Try being a bit more bold with your language.
The little streams everywhere were kind of annoying. You couldn't take two steps without being knee-deep in one.
Another thing is how needlessly wordy some of the sentences are.
Compare this
The closer you get to the center of it, the more any electronic equipment you have gets fucked with.
to this
The closer you are to the center of the island, the more FUBAR your equipment gets.
Try your best to be concise. Lots of redundant information really detracts from the article - i.e. "equipment you have"
Rosewolves can move pretty much every part of their body
So can people. You could say that they're extremely limber or something to that effect, or let readers assume that yes this is a mobile plant.
with (typically) eight octopus tentacles
Parenthesis is unnecessary
Their stems are incredibly dense, along with their jaw
"Jaws" is plural, to match stems.
cardboard-esk
Spelled "-esque"
still rather interesting: the tentacles themselves are rather flaky, but they can speed through the air without making a sound.
You can't use a colon like that. You are better off just using two sentences.
"The tentacles have a flaky texture and are surprisingly weak. An interesting thing to look out for is that the tentacles can whip through the air without so much as a sound."
but are bounded in this sort of foul-smelling paste
I wouldn't use that word. Perhaps "coated" or "the tentacles excrete this foul…"
and you're in its arms
It doesn't have arms. Tentacles, innit?
big slab of dark granite, at least four miles across
Remove the comma. I would also add a "that is" to make it clear what is four miles across.
Encounters with rosewolves are known to have happened as early as 1812, but newly found native american carvings suggest encounters have happened since 500 AD by the Hopewell Indians.
Native Americans is a proper noun. Its odd that 500 AD needs an anno domini but 1812 does not. It's inconsistent. You could also eliminate the need for stating the indigenous nature of the carvings by just attributing them outright to the Hopewell Indians.
"those who sail rosepit never sail back ~ we will never stop trying" when translated to English
The "translated to english" is implied
shear size, environmental difficulty, and lack of resources.
"Sheer" Additionally, lack of parallel structure makes this sound a little awkward. Maybe "their sheer size, environmental difficulties, and lack of resouces."
It's rough, but the concept of plant-wolf-monsters with thorns is always promising. Keep at it.
