might wanna clarify what the mounts are before you start talking about them in relation to gibber behavior. also, are they zombies or mummies, and why?
stylistically, i don't love the telegraphic interludes the way you used them here. i'd at least take a second look at the part from "solved problem"-"indiana"
Update:
Article: http://wayward.wikidot.com/aberrationsandbox:gibber
Bahane article: http://wayward.wikidot.com/bahanesandbox:gibbers
The article is mostly unchanged because I can't find a good backstory that I'm satisfied with. I still would like to go with basically not explaining its origin, but I am open to suggestions for a background.
I went for a nice measured, "the hunters have everything under control vibe," which does not at all showcase the gibbers very well. It's a little refreshing, but I want to know what you folks think.
Hello, openupthetrunk
For this lesson, I'm taking care of you. Please take out your material… Ah I see:
Knights
Why? I mean: Why only "Knights"?
Adding: Okay, but still…
Gibbers are reanimated corpses of monkeys and apes.
So every Zoo can create such things?
zombies
What are "zombies" in this universe? All kind of dead live forms?
Evergreen
Are they not a kind of "Specters"?
this clearly does not interfere with their navigation.
Do they use there smell sense? ^^
stomachs pointed to the sky
Why do they this?
Gibber riders and mounts
How will be deception, who rides who?
Background
Thats like a conspiracy theory. FITS VERY GOOD TO WWS ^^
(of course, ear protection around firearms is always advised, but I suspect many of you disregard that).
I can't stop laughing.
Fazit1: This aberrant sound like a bootleg version of "Planet of the Apes". But is in the "Uncanny Vally of B-Movie": Its "bad", but not "bad" enough to be a good B-Horror-Movie.
I apologize for my English as I am not a native English speaker. I hope that does not stop us from understanding each other.
Gruss
Rabe
Zombie-Monkey-Riders is a fresh interesting, and original concept that I don't think I've seen before with quite this combination. It's good that you've chosen to challenge yourself and take a risk by writing a complex Cryptid. The drawbacks of originality is that it is not always the easiest to understand.
Adding to Rabe's commentary, it's important to remember that most readers don't know the in-depth lore and all the terminology of WWS. Many zoomers have never even seen the alien franchise and have no idea what a xenomorph is. Zombies and xenomorphs have not been defined in WWS yet and I don't think they should be. This allows different authors to write about different types of zombies. Instead of saying zombie, you can describe their appearance as "rotting corpse" and people will picture a zombie anyway and for birth like a xenomorph, that would just be "baby Gibbers burst out from the womb through the stomach, killing the host-mother."
On the other hand, killing the mount leaves the rider alive and angrier still enraged.
Don't end your sentances with 'already', 'yet' or 'still' that should be in the middle of the sentance.
You can kill the gibber with explosives or by crowning both of the gibbers in quick succession.
I don't understand what crowning means. You can explain to your reader by saying:
You can kill the gibber with explosives or by doing x (crowning), in quick succession
or by saying:
You can kill the gibber with explosives or by doing x, which is called crowning, in quick succession.
Lastly I suggest a picture change, to something that looks like a corpse riding on another corpse. When I first saw the picture, I thought a Gibber would be related to the old eastern myth of the wish-granting monkey's paw. Then when I read the text, I had to change the picture I had in my mind; it was confusing. If you can't find anything, I'm sure Sonk, Gloop or one of the other artists would be willing to sketch one for you.
You set the Gibbers' active status to "Destroyed." For an encounter log, you can write about how the Gibbers were destroyed. I don't think we've had a log about how an Aberrant was destroyed yet so this would make the article even more original. In conclusion, keep your article original but explain what you mean and make it understandable.